One of the ways that Satan has infiltrated our language is through his distortions of the word “chastisement”. In American culture, the conventional wisdom used to be more in harmony with the Biblical principle that chastening a child was part of one’s essential parental responsibilities. Because Proverbs 22:15—”Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him”—was much more widely believed, the rod and reproof were used to decrease a child’s foolishness and increase its wisdom (as Proverbs 29:15 teaches). Below are five myths about chastisement which are commonly found in today’s world.
Myth # 1: Love does not punish misbehavior with chastisement. “Oh, I just love my child too much to paddle him/her” and “You’re not going to touch my baby” are the most common ways that this myth is expressed. God is love (1 John 4:8), and everyone that God loves, He chastens, “for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth” (Hebrews 12:6). Jesus said, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten” (Revelation 3:19). Clearly the notion that it is unloving to chastise a misbehaving child is false.
Myth # 2: Spanking does not work. This myth is usually supported by “Studies have shown…” The dirty little secret about these “studies” is how the term spanking has been defined. Typically, the definition used is “the use of an adult’s hand upon a child’s backside”. When this unbiblical act of chastisement is used, I have no doubt that it will be ineffective. One obvious reason is that it cannot create enough “grievious”ness (Hebrews 12:11).
Nowhere in Scripture do you find the idea of chastening a child using your hand. The instrument used is always an inanimate object; usually, it is a rod/i.e. paddle (Proverbs 13:24). This may seem like a minor difference, but it is not. When chastening is unpleasant and consistently practiced using an inanimate object instead of a parent’s hand, “it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby” (Hebrews 12:11).
Myth # 3: Paddling is child abuse. There is a world of difference between child abuse and the chastening of a child that is authorized in Scripture. Here is a listing of some of the many differences:
• Abuse is unfair and unexpected; chastisement is fair and expected because a specific misbehavior has occurred.
• Abuse is degrading and demoralizing; chastisement seeks to punish disobedience while upholding a child’s dignity.
• Abuse is extreme—too harsh, unrealistic, unjust; chastisement seeks to balance the proper amount of punishment with the severity of the disobedience.
• Abuse is torturous—it leaves scars; chastisement is painful but does not leave scars.
• Abuse results from parental hatred or resentment; chastisement is prompted by parental love and concern.
• Abuse creates terror, emotional damage, and a resentment of authority; chastisement leads to a healthy respect of authority.
• Abuse destroys self-esteem; chastisement strengthens a child’s sense of worth.
Myth # 4: Chastisement will make a child violent. I had the parents of one of my students say to me, “We don’t believe in hitting our children.” My response was, “I don’t either, but applying the “board of education to the seat of learning” is not hitting your child.” I found it ironic that these same parents who said that they were extremely anxious about raising a non-violent child had very few, if any, restraints upon their youngster viewing violent cartoons or playing violent video games!
Chastisement as proscribed by God will not make a child violent. It will teach a child respect for authority and understand the importance and necessity of obedience. These are the very things God expects of children (Ephesians 6:1-3).
Myth # 5: Since I won’t chasten my child perfectly as a parent, I should not do it at all. How many people use this kind of “logic” about driving a car (–“since I won’t be a perfect driver, I shouldn’t drive”)? This really is not a myth; it is simply a pathetic cop out. Although it will be done imperfectly, God does expect parents to do the very best that they can (Hebrews 12:10).
Don’t believe the myths. “Chasten thy son while there is hope and let not thy soul spare for his crying” (Proverbs 19:18).
