“By long forbearance a ruler is persuaded, and a gentle tongue breaks a bone” (Proverbs 25:15).
The art of persuasion is essential when seeking to influence the thinking of someone with authority over you. Abigail’s conversation with an offended and armed David is a master class on the art of persuasion and peace making. Abigail artfully persuaded David to return to his camp without there being any bloodshed. Before he departed from their meeting, he said to her, “Blessed is the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! And blessed is your advice and blessed are you, because you have kept me this day from coming to bloodshed and from avenging myself with my own hand. For indeed, as the Lord God of Israel lives, who has kept me back from hurting you, unless you had hurried and come to meet me, surely by morning light no males would have been left to Nabal!” (1 Sam. 25:32-34).
To be persuasive like Abigail, you must:
- Be forbearing. People who are highly offended and in a fight-not-flight mode are not going to immediately acquiesce to a solution different than their present one. There will need to be sufficient time for the adrenaline explosion to subside, for a cooler head to return, for the immediate fury of the offense to pass. When someone has been repaid evil for good, a five-minute conversation is not the solution.
- Be gentle. People who are highly offended and in a fight-not-flight mode do not need any additional provocation. They need a calm and quiet voice. They need your help in thinking rationally, not emotionally. They need a gentle tongue which doggedly seeks to help them find and chose their best version of themselves.
The art of persuasion is essential to be an effective peacemaker.
